I Am THAT Mom

As it turns out, I am THAT mom.
You know the one.

The one who, before she was a Momma,
had a list a mile long of all the things
she swore she would never do with her own baby.

The one who silently judged other Momma's
as I passed by them in Target while their kid lay on the ground
flailing about and screaming at the top of his lungs
because he didn't want to get back in the cart.

I remember the faces of those Momma's all too well.

Some Mom's were frazzled and frantic,
anxious to do anything in their power to get their baby to be quiet.
I remember their quivering voices as they played both sides of the conversation between themselves and their baby:
Do you want a bottle--no.
Your binkie--no.
Puffs--no.
Blankie--no.
Elmo--no.
Do you just want to embarrass me in front of a store full of watchful eyes?
YES.

And then other Momma's appeared unfazed.
They silently went about their shopping,
as if their child was not making a spectacle of himself.
Almost as if they were denying ownership of the monster on the aisle floor.
I could nearly see this Momma's thoughts:
Maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away.

Flash forward 2 years,
as I juggle my own toddler {labeled difficult by his pediatrician}.
It seems clear that I am receiving punishment for passing judgement.

Since becoming a Mom,
I have been both of the women described above,
on more than one occasion.
And I can tell you,
that neither of the above methods have succeeded in quieting my baby.

Instead, whenever Baby W starts on one of these public tantrums,
I start to sweat.
And then I sweat some more.
My armpits even begin to tingle a little.
And then, when I can't take it any longer,
I end up snatching my toddler from the ground,
leaving behind my cart full of groceries,
and dragging my kid back to the car
so we can go home...
where he can be a monster
without the judgement of others.

And then, I just add that experience to the list;
the list of the type of Momma I swore I would never be, with a child who does things I swore no child of mine would ever do.

And, in case you were wondering, that list goes on
Such as...

My child will NOT have a bottle past 12 months,

or ya know, whatever.

My kid will not go out in public barefoot.

Ha, try telling that to a kid who just might have a legitimate shoe-phobia.

My kid, arch his back??? Never...

My living room will not become a play yard.

And my personal favorite...

My kid will not sleep in my bed!

Try nearly every night of his life.

Amidst a slew of other shining moments

that I somehow thought I would be able to control when I became a Momma.

Rock Eating.

Stubbornness.

Nose picking.

Furniture Chewing.

Hair Pulling.

Hose Drinking.

Hiding.

Finagling.

Pooping.

Yeah, after two years as an official Mom,

I realize I am now THAT Momma,

the one who will tell you

that even on the worst days...

like the days when he walks up to your couch

and knowingly pees on the side of it before you can get his diaper on...

even on those days,

it's all totally worth it.

Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:11

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.