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Little Miss Momma: Handbags & Handguns

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Handbags & Handguns

My love affair with Hotpants
first began a few months ago
when I discovered her little gem of a blog
{Handbags & Handguns} on SITs

The is the first thing I saw when I went onto her blog:

And it was love at first site.

Hotpants is real.
Like as real as they get.
She tells it like it is,
which makes her pure awesome in my book.
Oh, and she also blogs the latest celebrity gossip, thank you very much!

She is a firefighter wife,
a momma of two littles,
and a Mortgage Post Closer {we're not really sure what that is}
living in the Dirty South.

She's obsessed with famous people,
shiny gadgets
and anything related to vampires.
Yes, this means Twilight.
If your computer doesn't have a sarcasm font,
you might want to get one.

Now Here's HOTPANTS:

I’m sure you’ve noticed the increasing number of reality shows on network and cable television. Celebs get their own reality show. Women who give birth to eight babies at one time get their own reality show. Women and men looking for love get their own reality show. Parents who can’t control their children get their own reality show. Overweight people get their own reality show. Models, cake makers and chefs get their own reality show. How many reality shows are out there about regular ol’ people like you and me who don’t have a ‘gimmick’ to get a producer’s attention? I can’t really think of any. Is it because we’re boring? No, I actually think it’s because we’re so awesome they wouldn’t know how to handle us. So, I’m here to tell you what it would be like on my reality show if I had one.

All of my meals would come straight from the freezer because I don’t cook.

I’d complain about having to constantly clean the hardwood floors in my house.

You’d see me hit snooze no less than 3 times every morning because I don’t want to get out of bed for work.

And, the second I get home from work every day, you'd see me change into my pajamas.

I'd visit Target no less than 3 times a week.

I’d whine about being behind on my tv shows.

I’d wear my fave jeans over and over, without washing them, until I spilled something on them.

You’d see drag my son out of bed every morning, dress him while he’s still technically asleep and hear him moan and complain about how he’s too tired to go to school.

On Friday nights, you'd find me on the couch with remote in hand eating Pancho’s cheese dip and drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

My husband and I would argue over whose turn it is to change our little one's poopy diaper.

You’d see me reading a book about vampires while my husband and kids ask what's for dinner.

My husband would be forced to do laundry while I’m at work because he’s out of clean socks and underwear.

I'd spend all of my money on clothes, purses and shoes while my cell phone gets cut off for non-payment.

One of my kids would be screaming at the other at least once an hour every day.

The puppy would bite me on the ankle while I try to get a Coke out of the fridge.

I'd text my bestie to tell her my husband won't get off the couch because he's playing Call of Duty.

You'd see me watch a lot of Sponge Bob and iCarly.

You'd see my daughter run laps in the living room wearing only her diaper.

You'd see her brother cry every time he dies and has to start over when playing his DS.

You'd hear me say no a lot.

You'd see me snort when I hear the words 'that’s what she said'.

You'd see me pull my shirt up over my nose when either the dog or my husband farts.

You could expect me to tweet everything important because Twitter is where it’s at.

During lunch breaks at work, you’d often find me reading in my car at Sonic while I eat a burger and drink a grape cream slush.

You'd never see me without my camera.
I could go on, but I think you get the point. I'm a working mom with a husband, two kids and a puppy. I watch too much tv, read books about vampires and obsess over celebrities. I could really use a maid, but can't afford one. I live modestly, enjoy my family and laugh a lot. I'm sarcastic and impatient. I'm loyal and trustworthy. So, tell me, why can't I have my own reality show? I'm pretty damn fabulous if I do say so myself.


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At February 12, 2011 at 11:14 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

Sigh, I have often thought I need my own show. Maybe not reality TV, cause I my life would be all about crying babies, poopy diapers, crying mama, a dirty house, yelling mama, and well you get the picture. But, hot dang I would own a talk show/gossip show like nobody's business. And I would have the prime daytime/afternoon spot cause I'd be that frickin' amazing!

At February 13, 2011 at 6:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been following her blog for a few months as well. I loved "man week". : )

At February 13, 2011 at 7:29 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes you are pretty fabulous & that outfit is fabulous too. I love those boots and that pink top!!!

At February 13, 2011 at 7:57 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for letting me take over today. I'm glad you found me.

Love ya. ;)

PS - I don't even really know what a Mortgage Post Closer is. It's stressful and boring at the same time.

At February 13, 2011 at 8:05 AM , Blogger Mindie Hilton said...

I will check out this blog. I am intrigued. My husband is an investagator for the state, sometimes his life reminds me of a late night tv show. He is always trying to get me to get my concealed weapons permit. Love the Title of hotpants blog. I also have been in love with Vampires for a while now too. I could not put the books down.

BTW Happy Birthday LMM!!!!!

At February 13, 2011 at 8:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is hilarious! Love it....Happy Valentine's hun! Xoxoxo

At February 13, 2011 at 8:26 AM , Blogger Simone said...

I love Hotpants, her blog is brilliant. If she gets a TV show, it'd better come to England, that's all I have to say :)

At February 13, 2011 at 8:28 AM , Blogger PeaceLoveApplesauce said...

Hotpants ROCKS!! <~~that is all.
xoxo!! Happy Sunday!

At February 13, 2011 at 9:29 AM , Blogger The WholeFamDamily said...

she is so fun!! i love real funny sarcastic people! i feel like they're my people..hahaha!
thanks for sharing and happy birthday!

At February 13, 2011 at 10:20 AM , Blogger MiMi said...

I'm pretty sure we all need to do a post now with what you'd see if we had our own Reality Shows! :)
"I'd spend all of my money on clothes, purses and shoes while my cell phone gets cut off for non-payment." <--- this one happened to me 2 weeks ago. For reals.
And I watch Spongebob and iCarly...even when the kids aren't around sometimes.

At February 13, 2011 at 11:38 AM , Blogger Olivia Carter said...

Lovely sum up of Hotpants & I totally dig the reasons you should have a reality show! I'd tune in!

At February 13, 2011 at 8:25 PM , Blogger lauren@warmandfuzzy said...

i love this...going over to her blog pronto...and I love that she is from the south..

At February 14, 2011 at 8:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This will definately my newest blog to follow! I think any girl could relate to her! I especially related to her pulling her shirt over her nose when her dog/husband farted :) Love her brutal honesty!

At February 14, 2011 at 5:07 PM , Blogger Allie said...

Could not stop laughing! I even snorted just reading the "that's what she said"... My husband just gives me the look.. I always add that to things I say and things that others say... I crack myself up myself up! Love it!

At February 16, 2011 at 3:28 PM , Blogger FoOd FaNaTiC said...

*LOVE* your blog!!!! Beautiful family and shots as well :)


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