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I Hate Needles {re-visited}

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Little Miss Momma: I Hate Needles {re-visited}

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I Hate Needles {re-visited}

Baby W turned 15 months old today.
And on the 7th of every month, as he gets older and older, the hubby and I always take a few moments to play the "remember when" game...

Remember when he was so tiny he could fit on our forearm.

Remember when we stayed up the ENTIRE night when we first brought him home.

Remember when he couldn't hold his own bottle.

Remember when he made a poo poo on the doc's exam table, hehe.

Today's "remember game" eventually led to:
Remember when we had to take him to the hospital...

I remember it like it was yesterday--one of the yuckiest days as a Momma yet!
So today I dug into the blog archives to re-read about the icky expereince with a new remind myself how blessed I am for the outcome.

{REPOST, from 7 months ago...}

I hate needles...
...and today I was reminded why.

It all began when I was about 4 years old and I had a severe allergic reaction, requiring me to receive multiple steroid shots at once. I remember this incident like it was yesterday; sobbing my eyes out as my mom promised we could go to Toys R Us as soon as we left the doctors office.

In the years that followed, every time I was required to get a shot of any kind, tears would immediately fill my eyes. The needle some how pressed this invisible button on my body that triggered an emotional sob fest and the need for a hug from my mommy.

When I got pregnant,the hubby came with me to the doctors office to provide moral support as they drew my blood to run the standard preggo tests...imagine my surprise when I didn't even get the chance to cry because Hubby passed out cold on the floor as soon as the needle entered my vein {what a sweet heart}!

The day Wesley was born I had to be hooked up to an IV--a process I was not looking forward to, and with good reason. Here is a picture of the Hubs and me just before they attempted to put the IV in:

 Happy as a clam! {and yes, I realize I was the size of a barn}

And here is a picture of me after 3 nurses attempted and FAILED to put in my IV (failed miserably and painfully, might I add):

How priceless is that look on my face? And can you see the cotton ball on my left arm? Yet the IV is in my right arm? Strange, right. That's because the first three butchered attempts were on my left arm before they moved on to butcher my right arm.
{I would get an IV any day as long as this pure joy was the outcome}

And this brings us to my devastating experience today:

Mr. B has a rare blood disorder that Baby W has a 50% chance of inheriting. And today was the day we had to take him in for the blood work (which would be done with needles, of course). This would be the first time they would draw blood from my Little Man with a needle (usually they would make a small incision on his heel).

I was lucky enough to have Mr. B with me for what would be the hardest thing I have had to do as a mother as of yet.

Just like my IV experience, this nurse was unable to get a steady flow the first time she put the needle in my little 8 month old's tiny little arm. The rather large needle stayed in his arm as she jiggled and jostled it around in hopes of stimulating blood flow. No such luck.

And meanwhile, my little guy was letting out the most piercing and heart wrenching shrieks and sobs you could imagine. I had never heard him cry like this before. I felt my throat swell up as the tears dripped from his chin. As the nurse pulled out the needle and told me we would have to try again on the other arm, I almost threw up right there. How could I let him go through this again?

I held back the tears as she switched arms and W began to sob in pain again. By the time she filled the entire vile, his crying had turned into hyperventilating sobs. I quickly wrapped him in my arms and promised him everything would be okay. I walked out of the doctors office with many looks of sympathy from those in the waiting room. At this point I had still managed to fight off the tears.

As soon as we exited the hospital, the tears began to flow--I couldn't hold them back any longer. Every tear from every needle that had ever entered my arm could not compare to how I felt for what my son had just been forced to endure.

Neither Mr. B nor I said a single word the whole way home. As I sat there in silence I was filled with emotion as I thought of other moms out there who have to deal with needles--of other moms who have to hold the hands of their little ones as they get stitched up after their first accident--of other moms who stay up all night to hear the breathing of their sick child--of other moms who take their precious kiddos to get blood drawn, receive MRI's, CT scans and Chemo on a daily basis--of moms who have to say goodbye to a little one too soon.

My heart was filled with sorrow and love as I thought of these moms. I thought of how much stronger and how much braver you are than me, of how much I have to learn from you, of how much I admire what you do!

So to all you moms out there:
what you do matters, and thanks for what you do!

Here is Little W when we got home--check out those band aides.
What a trooper!

UPDATE: Turns out, Baby W does NOT have his Daddy's blood disorder--hooray!  The blood disorder is called hereditary spherocytosis {fyi}

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At October 7, 2010 at 10:43 PM , Blogger Free Pretty Things For You said...

i dont comment a lot but i just have to say that i Love reading your posts!

I have a 14 month old and i got teary eyed with this story!!! your poor little boy!!! He IS a little tooper! SO ADORABLE i just want to give him a big hug and kiss!!

At October 8, 2010 at 1:12 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

You are such a great mother to little baby W. He is so blessed to have someone so caring and so loving as his mama. And that picture of him with his little arms and band-aids is enough to make any one cry- I can't imagine being there. It doesn't help much that you have one of the CUTEST little babies I've ever seen! ;)My husband and I have been trying for months and months.. It's nice to talk to a mother who genuinely knows how lucky she is- and to hear the way you talk about baby W- just amazing. <3

At October 8, 2010 at 2:33 AM , Blogger emerson-j said...

i also got teary reading that. a nurse broke a needle in my sons arm for a shot when he was 6mths and i had a c-section and they had a junior dr try to put in an iv, after 4 attempts i had to have my arm sedated so i could longer not feel all the pain.thay finally got it, but i had terrible bruising. man it hurts!!

At October 8, 2010 at 4:23 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

This post made me tear up... because I have been there!

In the state of MD you have to get lead tests done... esp if your house is old(1940's cottage here)... so at one year we had to take charli p...

oh how hard that was... they poked and proded and FINALLY after a new nurse came, was able to draw blood.

Glad baby W does not have the blood disease!

At October 8, 2010 at 4:54 AM , Blogger Pati @ A Crafty Escape said...

I hate needles too. My fear started later than yours though... mine started when I was 18 and a med student destroyed both my arms. Since then I have been petrified. I hate when they play the "lets put the needle in and THEN look for a vein". Your post made me cry b/c I can't imagine watching one of my kids go through that! Hooray for Baby W not having the blood disorder!

At October 8, 2010 at 6:34 AM , Blogger Erin @ Crafts and Sutch said...

Bless your heart! I hate needles too! So much so that I threw up and then passed out while I had the glucose test during my pregnancy; and then when I went to have Kason, I fainted while they were putting my IV in. They lost Kason's heartbeat and I woke up to a room full of nurses...that was not the way I wanted to start my labor. Everything ended up being fine, but I'll never be okay with shots, blood work, etc. So happy to hear that Baby W doesn't have the disorder. :)

At October 8, 2010 at 6:54 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

I'm terrified of needles, I only survived my pregnacies because I knew in the end my babies would be well worth it! Your story brought me to tears, and I'm so glad to hear that your little guy doesn't have the blood disorder! Yay! Wanted to let you know I gave you an award! Check it out!

At October 8, 2010 at 7:48 AM , Blogger BFree said...

Blessings to all mothers out there too. We have never been to the hospital and hope it stays that way for little Beau. I dread the that day if it comes.


At October 8, 2010 at 9:36 AM , Blogger Tara said...

Last time i was in a hospital it took 3 nurses 3 x each to get my iv in. by the time i got home I had been hit with a needle 12 times (including all the blood work).

At October 8, 2010 at 11:32 AM , Blogger gillian said...

I read your blog a lot. I have never commented though. I love your blog. I love that it has all kinds of topics discussed on here! I'm glad to hear your baby doesn't have the blood disorder! I am not too bothered by needles, but my little brother is!

Infact, when I read this, I was reminded of a time when my little brother got a pic line. It was the saddest thing ever. I don't have kids yet, but I remember being there with him in the hospital with my mom and just crying! It was so hard to see someone go through pain that you love so much. I can imagine when I have kids someday, I will cry the first time my kids have to be poked with needles! My mom blogged about the pic line, and you can read it here:

Anyway. I love your blog. I'm so glad your little boy is ok!

At October 8, 2010 at 1:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post brought tears to my eyes....bittersweet in fact, my husband and I lost our first son, he would have been six this yr., but I do have three beautiful and wonderful children now and so thankful! P.S. I love your posts and your son is absolutely adorable :) xoxoxo ~Ashley

At October 8, 2010 at 1:49 PM , Blogger Caroline said...

First off, I'm so glad baby W is healthy! Poor lil man, going through that ordeal-- what a trooper!

You were stunning pregnant. Big as a house? Not even. Absolutely beautiful, like the rest of your family.

Here's to no blood work for awhile ;)

At October 8, 2010 at 2:00 PM , Blogger  Justine said...

YAY! And man, I am scared of needles too because of that reason!

Just Better Together

At October 8, 2010 at 6:47 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just about made me cry, thank you so much for such beautiful comments! I'm sure we were meant to be sisters hahahaha xoxoxo ~Ashley

At October 8, 2010 at 7:13 PM , Blogger Ashley said...

Same thing happened to me when I was in labor. Took 4 sticks and 3 different nurses to get it in. thats the worst when youre already in pain and hate blood and needles! I wore those bruises for quite a while too! I feel for you!

At October 8, 2010 at 11:23 PM , Blogger MommyB said...

Uh this makes me cry for two reasons, one I'm a Mom and cry anytime I think of my kids getting sticked.
And two because I'm a nurse at an OB/GYN office and I get attached to my ob's and I've had patients who hate needles and its hard when you miss on one, or the vien is not cooperating because we HATE it when we miss, we look like idiots, we know you're in pain and thats not the goal, and we're just trying to get it done. (I'm not trying to make you feel bad at all, I just want you to know we nurses really do care!)
I'm glad to hear your son is ok!

At October 9, 2010 at 10:10 AM , Blogger luv4jack said...

I am so thankful that Baby W is a healthy little boy and checked out all a-ok. I read the link about your husband's blood disorder...and how it has a 50% chance of being passed your little guy is super lucky. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family always...and hope complications to your hubby are few and mild :/ Miss you girl..sorry again for being MIA.


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