Will I EVER Sleep Again?

Have you ever been so desperate and defeated that you have actually crawled into your baby's bed in a last attempt to get them to fall asleep? And I'm not talking about your toddlers race car bed--that would be normal {by my standards}.

I'm talking about squishing into the fetal position and climbing into your 1 year olds play pen in hopes of stopping his piercing cries that have endured for the last hour...

Because that's where I was tonight.

Curled up.

Like a baby.

In a play pen.

Desperate for Baby W to fall asleep.

And as much as I wanted to let him cry it out {because that method worked like a charm a few months ago}, I couldn't.

Why not, you ask.

Well, I'll tell ya.

You see, it seems that over the course of the last few days Baby W has taught himself to hoist his skinny little body up over the side rail of his play pen until he comes crashing down onto the floor--stunned, and further distraught than he already was. And furthermore, he has "un-taught" himself how to fall asleep on his own, in his own bed.

He screams and wails and stomps his little feet in his play pen until Momma and DaDa come to the rescue. But we don't come to the rescue, because we've learned the differences in his cries. And tonight's cry is a not one of pain or fear...Oh no, this cry, my friends, is a full blown temper tantrum.

How do I know, you ask?

Because when Baby W is scared or not feeling well, tears fill up in his adorable blue eyes until they are streaming down his puffy little cheeks. But... when Baby W is throwing a tantrum, his cries are TEARLESS--and that's what we had tonight--tearless cries!

 So I put on my tough Momma face while the hubby went into the garage to sulk {he hates the Cry It Out method}, and I settled in to endure the Baby W cry fest. But, it seems Baby W was wise to my tough Momma ways and changed up his methods a bit by throwing himself out of his play pen and hitting his head on the changing table.

And once again, my Momma heart hit the floor.

I rushed into the room, scooped him up and then gave in--and into our bed he crawled.

I couldn't help but feel responsible for the growing lump on his head and I spent the entire night holding him close {and developing a kink in my neck}.

I suppose I went wrong when I broke his routine and brought him back in bed with us while he was sick last week. I knew the potential repercussions--but I couldn't bare another night of waking up to him crying in a bed full of his own throw up {sorry for the graphic visual}--so I gave in, and once again, into our bed he crawled.

Exhausted, frustrated, defeated, I woke up the next morning and googled for a solution. You see, out of all my shelves full of Momma-in-training books, not one mentions how to wrangle and baby who can climb out of any baby sleeping apparatus.

And here's what google suggested:

1. Tent for top of crib/play pen: CHECK--Baby W laughed in the face of this concept as he ripped the tent from it's "secure" place on top of his play pen while the poles nearly poked out his eye balls.

2. Get him a big boy bed: Are you serious Google? Get my one year old a big boy bed? And expect him to stay in it? Psschh!

3. Reprimand him for getting out of bed: Ummm, how do you suppose I punish a one year old more than he already feels he's being punished by going to bed in the first place?

So tonight, when I felt I had exhausted all options, I gave in again--but this time I didn't bring Baby W into my bed--this time I crawled into his--and his tearless crying stopped immediately...

He even cracked a smile.

And as frustrating as the whole song and dance was--I couldn't help but smile back...