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Will I EVER Sleep Again?

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Little Miss Momma: Will I EVER Sleep Again?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Will I EVER Sleep Again?


Have you ever been so desperate and defeated that you have actually crawled into your baby's bed in a last attempt to get them to fall asleep? And I'm not talking about your toddlers race car bed--that would be normal {by my standards}.

I'm talking about squishing into the fetal position and climbing into your 1 year olds play pen in hopes of stopping his piercing cries that have endured for the last hour...

Because that's where I was tonight.

Curled up.

Like a baby.

In a play pen.

Desperate for Baby W to fall asleep.

And as much as I wanted to let him cry it out {because that method worked like a charm a few months ago}, I couldn't.

Why not, you ask.

Well, I'll tell ya.

You see, it seems that over the course of the last few days Baby W has taught himself to hoist his skinny little body up over the side rail of his play pen until he comes crashing down onto the floor--stunned, and further distraught than he already was. And furthermore, he has "un-taught" himself how to fall asleep on his own, in his own bed.

He screams and wails and stomps his little feet in his play pen until Momma and DaDa come to the rescue. But we don't come to the rescue, because we've learned the differences in his cries. And tonight's cry is a not one of pain or fear...Oh no, this cry, my friends, is a full blown temper tantrum.

How do I know, you ask?

Because when Baby W is scared or not feeling well, tears fill up in his adorable blue eyes until they are streaming down his puffy little cheeks. But... when Baby W is throwing a tantrum, his cries are TEARLESS--and that's what we had tonight--tearless cries!

 So I put on my tough Momma face while the hubby went into the garage to sulk {he hates the Cry It Out method}, and I settled in to endure the Baby W cry fest. But, it seems Baby W was wise to my tough Momma ways and changed up his methods a bit by throwing himself out of his play pen and hitting his head on the changing table.

And once again, my Momma heart hit the floor.

I rushed into the room, scooped him up and then gave in--and into our bed he crawled.

I couldn't help but feel responsible for the growing lump on his head and I spent the entire night holding him close {and developing a kink in my neck}.

I suppose I went wrong when I broke his routine and brought him back in bed with us while he was sick last week. I knew the potential repercussions--but I couldn't bare another night of waking up to him crying in a bed full of his own throw up {sorry for the graphic visual}--so I gave in, and once again, into our bed he crawled.

Exhausted, frustrated, defeated, I woke up the next morning and googled for a solution. You see, out of all my shelves full of Momma-in-training books, not one mentions how to wrangle and baby who can climb out of any baby sleeping apparatus.

And here's what google suggested:

1. Tent for top of crib/play pen: CHECK--Baby W laughed in the face of this concept as he ripped the tent from it's "secure" place on top of his play pen while the poles nearly poked out his eye balls.

2. Get him a big boy bed: Are you serious Google? Get my one year old a big boy bed? And expect him to stay in it? Psschh!

3. Reprimand him for getting out of bed: Ummm, how do you suppose I punish a one year old more than he already feels he's being punished by going to bed in the first place?

So tonight, when I felt I had exhausted all options, I gave in again--but this time I didn't bring Baby W into my bed--this time I crawled into his--and his tearless crying stopped immediately...

He even cracked a smile.

And as frustrating as the whole song and dance was--I couldn't help but smile back...


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32 Comments:

At August 25, 2010 at 12:22 AM , Blogger Missie Krissie said...

You are not responsible for the bump on his head, it's just what kids do. Boys especially love to run and climb and therefore always have bruises and bumps!
Here's one way you might stop Baby W climbing out of his pen, I saw this on tv somewhere and gave it a go when Austin was about 1 and a half. Try to calm him down before you put him to bed, read and book, sing a soft song etc. Then lay him down, kiss him good night, turn the light off and sit on the floor net to the cot. Don't look at him or talk to him at all. If he gets up and tries to climb out, you calmly stand up, lay him down and tuck him in again. But don't say anything at all. Then you sit down again. You will have to do this over and over for about 2-3 nights, slowly you can move away from the cot, each night getting further towards the door and eventually out of it! Talking to them and giving them attention is the pay off for his bad behavior. So if you are boring and he's not getting anything from you except laying him back down, he'll get fed up and realise his behavior isn't getting him what he wants anymore! Or so we hope.
It does take patience, but a few nights of this and then peace all the nights after is worth it!
And you didn't do anything wrong by taking him to your bed when he was sick. Sometimes children need to be cuddled and comforted through an illness, it's just how it is :) Good luck and let us know how you go!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 1:30 AM , Blogger Stacey said...

I don't think it will help the worries much, but you are not alone. We have the same 1 1/2 year old here. It took me months to move from hand holding, to sitting in a chair, to sitting by the door all of which was later in vain when we moved him in to sleep with his big brother.
After 2 more months he's back to his own room and I can again sit by the door (for 30 min.) while he rolls around wrestling and talking to his bear. Cry it out did not work for us. 2 hours of crying each night is personally not worth the stress.
Hang in there. We'll miss our boys someday when the are teens and we can't get them out of the bed.

 
At August 25, 2010 at 2:10 AM , Blogger emerson-j said...

u can get those pop up tents with no poles but i actually think ur wee boy may be a bit young to find this useful as a sleeping aid. i struggled with my son for months and the only thing that kinda worked was the supernanny technique, took a week, still have relapses but he goes to sleep in his own bed. sometimes i put him in with his portable dvd player and he falls asleep watching that....he still climbs in with us at 3am sometimes. at the end of the day u need ur sleep and he wont still be doing it when hes older so just do what makes life easier. i tell ya what i had anxeity trying to do things by the book with my first baby, now i just do what makes life simple untill they are at an age when u can really reason with them.

 
At August 25, 2010 at 4:57 AM , Blogger daniiiā™„ said...

I just got my 1 year old a little toddler bed. She flat out refused to sleep in her crib/play pen anymore. It's close to the ground, so if she rolls out, she doesn't get hurt. We close her bedroom door until she falls asleep (though I would've preferred a baby gate).

I was really afraid she wouldn't go to bed, too, but she does! I moved her into it on a Friday so that we'd have the weekend to practice. The first night she went to bed a half hour late, but the rest of the time she went to bed normal! She played and then when she got tired she crawled into bed and fell asleep. I love it!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 5:12 AM , Blogger Cortnie said...

My 1 year-old refused to sleep in her crib, so I turned it into a daybed. She refused to sleep in her daybed and was constantly crying herself to sleep right in front of the door, so I took the stupid thing apart and just left the mattress on the floor. Eventually she made her way back to the mattress. Now we have the daybed back up. She still throws fits on occasion and falls asleep in front of the door. It's a good thing she's so cute!

Hang in there...things will get back to normal. He probably still doesn't feel quite right after being sick.

 
At August 25, 2010 at 5:39 AM , Blogger Linen and Tulle said...

I have no advice b/c I'm sure you have heard it all... but I wanted you to know that it will end. I've gone through it with 5 children, all unique in each of their sleeping habits. haha... and only the baby is left in my bed halfway through the night. Each one has learned to go to bed on their own. good luck

 
At August 25, 2010 at 6:18 AM , Blogger t & e said...

that little stinker just wants to sleep with his mommy cuz he loves her so much! I know it's not really funny but I can't help but laugh and then I realized I am not too far off from this, love you! and tell my bro to stop being such a baby, hehe!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 6:21 AM , Anonymous Cathy B said...

I know how you feel. My twin 19 month old would hope out of bed and come tumbling down at 1 year old. I couldn't beleive that it was nearly time to move them into toddler beds. I know it's a difficult decision especially since we all want them to stay a baby forever, but it is better than having them fall off the bed. I know it's hard but with my 19 month old and 6 month old sons I've learned that even if we break routine, letting them cry out a couple of nights they'll go back to their original. This is just my situation with my three young ones, so I hope it helps. Bedtime's usually not an issue with the toddler bed. But naptime is usually more interesting. Since the twins sleep in the same room, they usually play some before hopping back into bed and falling asleep. Good luck, I hope you get some rest.

 
At August 25, 2010 at 7:16 AM , Blogger Derryberry's est 2007 said...

I know what you are going through. My daughter would not sleep in her own bed after we lowered the matress, something so minute threw her for a loop, so in our bed she was. But this was only a night time occasion. During the day, No Problem! Then she was sick, we went on vacation, etc so after 3 weeks of being in bed with mom & dad we started the cry out method as well. Nope not a sucess, so we then tried the let her fall asleep in our bed then take her to her bed, and as soon as we'd get to the hallway the crying would start. My husband also laid in her crib and same thing as baby W relaxed smiled and was fine. So then we started to investigate what the problem could be. Well the only thing was it was Dark, VERY DARK! So off I went to Target, picked up a butterfly that puts stars on the ceiling and plays relaxing music as well as a $0.99 nightlight and there you have it. For 4 weeks now, she will go in her bed awake, put herself to sleep and sleeps from 9-9. Maybe give that a try....

 
At August 25, 2010 at 7:26 AM , Blogger Brittany@Love Stitched said...

Your an amazing mom!!! I'll be calling you for advice the day I have a kiddo!!! xoxo

 
At August 25, 2010 at 11:39 AM , Anonymous Rachel said...

Hi:)I have been reading your blog for several months now but have not left a comment yet....
I have two little ones, 4 yrs old and 9 months but am no where close to being an expert:)
I think it is completely normal for our little ones to want to be close to us, that is where they feel the safest.I know it is not for everyone or every family but what worked for me(and how i got the most sleep) was co sleeping with my babies and then around one yrs old I moved them into their cribs but the crib was in our room and stayed there until they were about 2 yrs old. And now my four yr old sleeps in his own room and bed and has for the past two yrs.Getting advice from other mommas is nice but really when it comes down to it just do whatever works for you and your family.

 
At August 25, 2010 at 12:04 PM , Blogger Kristyn said...

You are having one rough month! I'm sorry it has been such a struggle to get Wes back on his routine. My little man has not yet discovered how to escape for his crib and I count my blessings everyday for that! Because really there is no good option once they can get free it's either let them fall on their head repeatedly or bust out a big boy bed, that scares me. As far as giving in to your kid, they know how to push your buttons, they know what will get you to cave and they are ruthless. My little guy has recently learned to call for "mama" in the saddest most heartbreaking little voice and it is currently sending me running into his room multiple times a night, even though I know that he is perfectly fine. But I feel like he needs me so in I go. I really need to stop that. So in answer to your question, No you will never sleep again. Because just when you think you've got it down they get sick or a new tooth or learn a new little trick to make you come running. It will get better at times, but you will never really sleep solidly again. If it makes you feel any better I get to start the whole game all over again in 5 short months!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 1:54 PM , Blogger Holly said...

Hi! My little one slept with us until this past January when I/we couldn't take it anymore. I knew she wasn't ready to be in her room all by herself yet, so we purchased a toddler bed and put it next to our bed. Works so well! She lover her bed but knows mommy is right beside her. If she needs me during the night, I am right there, but she is still in her own bed. We will slowly move the bed away from our bed and eventually into her room when she is ready. Hope this helps!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 6:07 PM , Blogger Ashley @ Little Miss Momma said...

Seriously, I LOVE all the advice I am getting from you guys! Not only does it help me not "feel alone" in my frustration--but its helping me feel that whatever choice I make for Baby W will be okay--even if its not what "all the books" are telling me to do--I just need to do whats best for our family! Thanks for the support ladies!

 
At August 25, 2010 at 10:10 PM , Blogger The Zeediks said...

Ashley I love you. Only you could fit into a tiny baby bed. It sounds really sweet and kinda cozy. Im sure the cozy part didnt last long for you but he probably LOVED it! I hope B took a picture!

 
At August 26, 2010 at 8:24 AM , Blogger stephaniegiese said...

Hi. I'm a new follower & girl, I am so there with you right now. my husband is away on business for the next three months (uhg!!!!) and our 1&3 year olds are both really struggling with the change in their routine affecting their sleep. I think lack of sleep is one of the hardest things about being a parent of little ones!

 
At August 26, 2010 at 12:00 PM , Blogger MommyB said...

Been there a few nights ago, my right index finger still feels out of wack from what ever position I was in. Turns out my 2yr old is teething his 2yr molars. Sometimes you have to give in, you just cant do it the next night.

 
At August 26, 2010 at 6:09 PM , Blogger Kristen said...

What a sweet mama! :)

 
At August 27, 2010 at 9:06 AM , Blogger curtandjenb said...

You are just fantastic! My husband and I are doing going through this exact same thing RIGHT NOW! Oh, he is so reading this tonight, I think he thinks we are the only ones on the face of the Earth with a stubborn 1 year old who can't find comfort in her own bed! And you know what else, we are SOOO crawling in bed with her too, and like you, not the toddler bed, the CRIB! HA, that's what I call family bonding right there. Have a fantastic day...you just put a huge smile on my face!

 
At August 27, 2010 at 1:05 PM , Blogger Life in Rehab said...

You know, we're one of the few mammals that give birth and then put our young in another room. I couldn't let my children cry it out either. I felt that they needed to know the security of me swooping in and scooping them up. They slept with us, and they slept soundly from day one. We have not had ONE instance of a nightmare, or of anyone crawling back in bed with us after age two. And they are confident, secure, well adjusted, and well behaved people.

I'm not saying you should do the same, but if occasionally that little bundle of adorable wakes up in your arms...it'll be a wonderful memory in a few years when he asks you for the car keys.

Trust me.

 
At August 27, 2010 at 1:46 PM , Anonymous Mandy's Creative Corner said...

I have done the EXACT thing with my son on many occasions. When he hit about 22 months I finally got him a toddler bed and it was Hell all over again for weeks getting him to stay in it. But it has all passed now and for the first time in 2 years my husband and I have been able to sleep the entire night without a crying baby =) Hallelujah! But there's always heartache involved in being a mommy... he put half of his hand on a hot burner yesterday and we've been dealing with blisters and breakdowns since. How can loving someone so tiny hurt your heart so much!

 
At August 27, 2010 at 7:38 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

I think you are a GREAT momma!! I have no advice - most has already been given, but I will repeat DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!! We can get so caught up in doing what is suppose to be the "right" way or "by the book" that we forget that WE are the momma and MOMMA knows best. Regardless of whether it is right or wrong, what ever you decide will be RIGHT for you and Baby W. Because you are his and he is yours :))))

 
At August 27, 2010 at 8:52 PM , Blogger Nicole said...

Beautiful baby! I am a new follower from "Jeans & A Tshirt Mom"'s featured Friday blogger!!

nicolermiller.blogspot.com

 
At August 27, 2010 at 9:35 PM , Blogger Valinda said...

I didn't read all the comments so if I'm repetitive I'm sorry. All of my kids had a "big kid bed" by the time they were one, my first got bumped because her sister was arriving in 5 months (oops!) and it worked so well with the first that we did it with the other 2. They really didn't stay in the bed, which was a mattress on the floor for a while, but I was horrible and put a baby gate in their doorway so they couldn't escape. It took about a month with each kid but they eventually got the picture that this was bed time and we should all be in our own beds - asleep! It also made those moments where I crawled in with them just a bit more comfortable as well. Good luck and I hope you figure out what works for you soon so you can get some decent rest.

 
At August 28, 2010 at 9:41 PM , Blogger Dorian said...

Hi! Just stopping by to tell you that I awarded you with a blog of substance award...I didn't know where else to tell you...
http://makingmudpie.blogspot.com

You're blog is awesome!

 
At September 18, 2010 at 3:03 PM , Anonymous Kristin said...

I have climbed into the crib as well. So has my husband. Actually, he did it first - his idea! We finally just gave up and let our little guy sleep on the futon in his room. Now at 2 1/2 he sleeps a little better but 11:00 is not an unusual bedtime. It does end...sometime.

 
At September 19, 2010 at 5:18 PM , Blogger Krista said...

wow, this one made me totally laugh and cry! Have been there, too, my hubby also goes away! I am now in the middle of sleep issues with my 9 month old and as tired as I am sometimes, well, all the time, I look at my 3 older kids and think of how quickly the time has past. They all go to bed on their own and stay in bed all night so I know it will happen! And sleeping in the crib, been there too, praying that it would hold my weight! Keep up the good work, you are a blessing!

 
At October 11, 2010 at 12:12 PM , Blogger Lori said...

Bless your heart. I could not read this post and not respond. I also slept in my one year old's crib when she would not sleep. We also co-slept in the family bed and when she transitioned to her toddler bed, I spent many nights sleeping on the floor next to her. But it gets better. I promise.

 
At February 25, 2011 at 2:43 PM , Anonymous Jessica said...

my 4.5 month old is in this "no sleep" stage right now. We had been doing REALLY good for the last month or so before. Going to sleep between 8-9pm every night, only one wake up feeding at about 4-430am and then waking up between 8-9am. but NOW. ohhhhh no. takes some loud crying and a needy comfort every 30 min or so for at least 3 hours. then wakes up every 2, making me use all my strength NOT to break the baby monitor just so i can get some sleep. finally giving up and feeding him after 3 hours of constant waking. sleep for another 3 maybe and he's ready to be up. naptime, is the same way. it usually ends in sleeping on me. so after 3 cups of coffee, which i seem immune to the caffeine, holding in my frustration, and a loving smile from my little sleep depriving love, i wonder the same thing. WILL I EVER SLEEP!?

LOVE this post. so real and honest. btw your son is simply adorable.

 
At March 14, 2011 at 8:18 PM , Blogger Lauren said...

I know ALL TO WELL the sleeping baby problems and I have crawled into our boys crib many many times. You have to do what works to survive the moment sometimes and throw the rule books out the window.

I love your blog I have been reading it for a few weeks now, you are awesome! I am super short too so I also sympthazie with your pregnancy post recently ;)

lauren
www.meandmineblog.com

 
At April 27, 2011 at 5:17 AM , Blogger Stephanie said...

Oh girl...I slept in my girl's crib with her more times than I can count! My family and friends thought I was NUTS! You are the 1st person I have met that has said they did. Glad to know I am not nuts!! HUGS! I still sleep with my girl way more often than I see my bed : ( But hey-we are all still here, still ok, and the love is all that matters. We are all gonna make it through...this toughest challenge of life!! <3

 
At April 28, 2011 at 10:46 PM , Blogger Melissa said...

This story is adorable. As much as it probably didn't feel adorable at the time, this made me crack a little smile too. :)

 

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