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I want to know your secret

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Little Miss Momma: I want to know your secret

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I want to know your secret

I Want to Know YOUR Secret
{see end of post for details}
{and I reveal another "mini" secret}

When I started this blog, it was for one reason more than any other.

To find out if I was the only one...

The only one with feelings that this whole parenting business was a bit more than I had signed up for.

The only one so overwhelmed with love for my new little baby, that it drove me to tears many nights.

The only one who questioned every parenting decision I made since the day he was born.

The only one who gagged at every poopy diaper.

The only one who worried that I was never doing enough.

And although the hubby and I had just added to our family, I felt alone.

Not depressed, just alone.

Like I was the only one who thought this was hard.

The only one who got tired.

The only one who didn't think motherhood was all rainbows and butterflies.

And thus, LMM {life lessons of a momma-in-training} was born.

I started writing.

Writing about life as a new momma--the ups, the downs, the tantrums, the cuddle sessions, the first giggles, the new baby smell, the late night feedings, the doctor's visits and everything in between.

And the more I wrote, the more Momma's I found who were just like me.

Who felt the same as I did.

Who loved their little kiddos more than life itself.

Who would jump in front of a moving vehicle for their babes.

But who also knew Momma-Hood was nothing to be sugarcoated.

You sent me emails, you left comments, you reached out to me...

You made sure I knew I wasn't alone.

And so, thanks to your support, I got a bit braver,

And I took a risk.

I wrote a post about more than mommy hood.

I wrote a post about ME.

A post sharing my deepest, darkest Secret.

And then I crossed my fingers.

Had I scared you? Would you be freaked out? Would you go running in search of a fluffier blog?

But I never should have underestimated you, my dear readers.

Because you didn't run. Instead, you told me I wasn't alone.

You reminded me that we all have secrets.

We all have a past, a condition, an ailment--something we don't want others to use to define us.

And we ALL find comfort when we learn that we're not alone.

And it's that feeling of comfort that has inspired a new "series" I would love to start on LMM.


Introducing the I HAVE A SECRET SERIES

A series of posts where we learn about your secrets,

where we tell you that you're not alone,

where we comfort you and perhaps even provide you with the courage to overcome your secret,

OR the strength to endure your secret,

OR we just become educated about your secret.

Anonymous or with a name attached, you decide how you want your secret to be posted.

Trust me, there are others out there who will be touched, who will be strenghtened by your courage in coming forward.

If you feel so inspired, email me your SECRET, your STRUGGLES at:

I want to know your story.
And, if you haven't read it yet, here's my secret.

And for those of you who are thinking,
"pshh, her secrets not that big of a deal. I mean look at all that hair she has"

Well here's the truth:

I have hair extensions to help hide my secret.

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At November 21, 2010 at 9:42 PM , Blogger Lei said...

I love this. Years back I had more of a "writing" blog than a crafty one, and I did a series on all sorts of topics that plague women/mothers... it got a great response. And I found as you did that there is a whole world of people out there that feel just as you do... which is such a blessing of encouragement. I hope your writing project is successful. Thanks for sharing your courage with us.

At November 21, 2010 at 9:49 PM , Blogger The Collins in 2010 said...

Thank you for writing. Even just something as simple as telling the truth about the salad dressing. You make me feel a little more "normal"


At November 21, 2010 at 10:00 PM , Blogger ACupOfJenn said...

This is going to be interesting. Can't wait to see what people write in!

At November 22, 2010 at 5:12 AM , Blogger JillnCo. said...

Dear Little Miss Momma, your are so brave to share. I had a neighbor with the same issue and she posted a blog about it, asked all of her neighbors to ask her about it daily, and even shaved her head at some point to help get it under control. (She ROCKED the short hair by the way!) I just wanted you to know, when I had my first, then second (we now have 4!!) the hardest thing for me to adjust to was how much HARDER everything was! I actually wailed to my husband "You don't have to load and unload and carry and buckle and milk and feed and change and change again, JUST to run to the grocery store for milk!" I despaired(yes, despaired at one point) every time I walked out the door for how much work was involved just for the simple act of running an errand! But I got throug it! I love motherhood so much, and there are still days I'll do without milk and bread an extra day so hubby will be home with the kids so I can go to the store alone (or just with one!) but I LOVE it ALL! Thanks for your post! I love your blog!

At November 22, 2010 at 5:52 AM , Blogger Ashley said...

You are so real, and BEAUTIFUL. I adore your blog. I feel like I know you!! Thanks for being so real with us. You are an awesome mom, wife, and BLOGGER :)You have so much to be grateful for this season!!

At November 22, 2010 at 6:27 AM , Blogger Samantha said...

I love your blog! I love how you open yourself up to us everyday... You have helped me determine what I really want my blog to be about - just express who I am, what is going on in my life :) So THANK YOU for sharing yourself with all of us!

At November 22, 2010 at 7:09 AM , Blogger Girl of The Grove said...

Ashley, you rock! Your honesty and bravery is admirable and humbling.

At November 22, 2010 at 7:53 AM , Blogger The WholeFamDamily said...

first, a lot of people can't find extensions that match so freakin' perfectly!! second, we do all have secrets and i like that you can put it out there so that others feel comfortable to do the same. :) and motherhood is not easy..if it WERE, then Men would be the moms. LOL!

At November 22, 2010 at 8:18 AM , Blogger claudia b said...

You're awesome. Thank you for sharing this. I am a newer follower but I went back and read your original post. Thank you for your candid honesty.

At November 22, 2010 at 9:12 AM , Blogger sara said...

This is awesome, as are you! I'll have to think about what secret to share...

At November 22, 2010 at 9:19 AM , Blogger Mission: Life, Objective: Live. said...

I am seriously at a loss for words right now. I didn't become a follower of LMM till about September {and now it is the blog I read RELIGIOUSLY!} So I had NO idea about your little secret until today, and it totally made me cry. {Yes cry, while I am at work..} I can not tell you how much respect I have for you. You are so brave to put your secret out there. You CAN do it! :) I have faith in you! A little while ago I made a new section in my blog called Diaries Of A Fed Up Fat Girl, throwing my weight out there {as embarrassing as it is} for everyone to see. So I could show everyone that I CAN lose weight and be myself again. Let me just tell you that it is NOT an easy task. So I applaud you for sharing with me, well us really, your secret, and I will be with you every step of the way to help you out! :)

At November 22, 2010 at 9:35 AM , Blogger Brandy@YDK said...

that's so brave of you to share

At November 22, 2010 at 11:19 AM , Blogger Emily Scharnhorst said...

You are fantastic. I am a new follower to your blog. Actually, I am pretty new to blogging in general. I recently just did a whole bunch of venting on my little blog. Let out things that I have been trying to hide/overcome for a while. ( "National UnFriend Day" and "Keep Calm & Carry On") Let me tell you, it's scarey to put it all out there, but nice to let out the truth. We all have our stuggles, our little scars, but ultimately-- that's what makes us real. This world of blogging is fabulous... we can reach out to others who are plowing through life and figuring things out too. Thanks for sharing... and inspiring!

At November 22, 2010 at 12:33 PM , Blogger MommaIzzy said...

WOW! Thanks for this. I also have dermatillomania. I pick obsessively at my skin and have seriously scarred myself. Most people don't understand and it's very embarrassing.

At November 22, 2010 at 2:31 PM , Blogger elise said...

you rock.

At November 22, 2010 at 3:49 PM , Blogger Ali Rockwell said...

I like this a lot. I love how open you are, and I LOVE the way you capitalize and change the size of your fonts to stress/de-stress your points.

It is so fun to read.

At November 22, 2010 at 5:39 PM , Blogger scrapcraft said...

Well, i skipped over that post because it was pretty long and i didn't have time to read it then. I just went back and read it. You are so brave to share your secret with the world. What an inspiration.

At November 22, 2010 at 8:10 PM , Anonymous Jamie said...

Have you ever heard of PostSecret? It's definitely worth checking out. I haven't been on it in a while because I look at a community which does the same but it's awfully interesting to read others secrets.

So proud of you, lady. :) <3

At November 22, 2010 at 8:34 PM , Blogger Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

I think it's so important for us (readers) to know the real person behind the keyboard. I find myself putting the authors of my favorite blogs up on pedestals - they must be skinny and sweet and beautiful and have a perfect marriage and control their children and make perfect sandwiches for lunch and keep a perfect house... yada yada yada. Thanks for being so honest. I think it really helps us connect with you more personally and see you as more than just a 2-dimensional avatar. It helps us know the real YOU better.

At November 22, 2010 at 10:26 PM , Blogger Suzi Q said...

i can't even imagine having a secret like that. i mean, wow. you are strong. Hilarious too!! i cannot get enough of you. i have a few secrets. i am a certified windbag (aka i fart...a lot) and it makes me glad i ama stay at home mama, so i only share gas with my 2 boys. bahahaha..akkkkkkkkward... ;0 I am not kidding either, i could probably fire at will.

At November 22, 2010 at 11:54 PM , Blogger Free Pretty Things For You said...

you are so beautiful, brave and absolutely inspiring!!
Love you miss ash!!!

At November 23, 2010 at 12:01 AM , Blogger Katie Gates said...

Oh my goodness. I came over here from the SITS comment string, and I am so touched. Your voice is awesome. I will be following. I just read the post about your secret, and I love that you shared that. I did a post about OCD a few weeks ago. Though my manifestations are tame by comparison, I hope you will read and appreciate what I wrote.

I also am an etsy artist, and my post today (yesterday, probably, by the time this goes live) was about my experience with "the unbrearable lightness of beading." You may enjoy that one as well.

I will return. In the meantime, I hope you will visit me.

You are quite remarkable.

At November 23, 2010 at 1:03 PM , Anonymous Caeli Lacrima said...

Embracing that we are not perfect is the closest to actually being perfect. I really admire the courage you have to open yourself to the world!

At November 23, 2010 at 2:38 PM , Blogger allison @ said...

love that you shared so bravely and honestly. If more of us could do that, I think there would be more love and compassion in this world!
PS - my secret for today is that I ate pretty close to a third of a coconut creme pie for lunch. (don't tell, k?)

At November 24, 2010 at 12:07 AM , Blogger Jen @ said...

Ashley --

You are amazing. What a honest and brave post. And something that will help so many women. It's true, we all have our secrets and reading your post made me cry. You are amazing.


At November 24, 2010 at 1:38 AM , Blogger LilBuckarooDesigns said...

Just love you! That's it! You are awesome and I echo everything everyone else has written! You are so brave and I only wish I was brave enough to really open myself up to people the way you do!

At November 24, 2010 at 3:57 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too share your secret. 26 years for me. Truthfully, I think it's a secret, but I'm sure many know. Wish I was as courageous as you. You go girl!

At November 24, 2010 at 5:27 AM , Blogger My Cottage Charm said...

Hi Ashley. I found your blog cause Jen (tater tots and jello) tweeted about your post. I am awestruck at your honesty. Why do we, as women, think we have to be perfect...that we can't have flaws, that the world might stop spinning if we actually shared something about ourselves. I used to keep everything inside, but I have a friend that has been coming over weekly for over a year now and we share everything. We laugh, we cry..we even sob sometimes and it's so good and so refreshing! God is the center of both our lives and we've learned that we, as Christians, should confess things to one another to lighten our own loads. It works too..I feel so lighthearted and free when we have our talks. So thank you for sharing your secret with us all. This is my first visit here, but it won't be my last.
I was so glad to read that you hadn't pulled anymore hair after your blogpost, not because it's terrible or embarrassing, but because you freed yourself with your honesty. God bless you and your sweet heart. :)

At November 24, 2010 at 12:59 PM , Blogger Life in Rehab said...

I would have never guessed the hair extensions! I was scrolling through the hairband post thinking, God that girl is so gorgeous, and that HAIR!" I think it's wonderful that you want to reach out to people and basically form a big hug around them. This is a fantastic idea.

At January 18, 2011 at 8:16 AM , Blogger Dana @ SweetThings said...

WOW....I'm in total shock!! Ashley, you are so courageous. This is my first time visiting your blog and I'm HOOKED!!I never would have guessed that you didn't have this perfect little life. I'm the YW president in my ward and I want to share your story with the girls. You are inspiring! These young girls today are so lost and insecure. They look to others for self worth. Thank you for being so honest and real. You are amazing!! I know your "problem" is very real and painful but sometimes we have trials in our lives to help us search deep within ourselves to find out what we are really made of. I really believe that you can either sit and feel sorry for yourself or reach out and help others. Thank you for turning this painful situation into something positive. I'm so PROUD of YOU!!!

At April 5, 2011 at 9:04 PM , Blogger hutch3535 said...

Ashley,when i read the blog post about ur deepest darkest secret, I cried. And when i read ur post about being a new momma and how u felt I cried even more. To know that someone feels exactly like I did was a little overwhelming. I have felt the need to please everyone since i was a little girl. No matter how i was feeling as long as everyone else was happy I felt accomplished. I had such an overwhelming fear of failure and dissapointment it crippled my self esteem. So when I had my first child and he spent every night for the first three months of his life sreaming from 3pm to 3am every day, no matter what i did,to myself i was a failure. It was the ultimate blow. I had failed as a mother and slipped into post partum depression. I loved Trey so much it hurt but at the same time i would question why i deserved him, and why i could not help make him happy. So when he was diagnosed with gerd I realized it wasnt my fault. And with some much needed sleep and prayer I came out of the darkest time of my life. I am still a pleaser and still very neurotic but with age i have realized that is what makes me "me" and im ok with that. So keep up the awesome work u do on this blog and know u touch people everyday. Much love from Alabama!

At July 27, 2011 at 6:34 PM , Blogger Brandi said...

I am new to the blogging world and your blog was one of the first blogs I have looked at and I fell in love with it. You are such an inspiration! I too have a secret I have struggled with postpartum depression for over a year now (ever since my son was born) and I have recently had the courage to tell my close friends and family. You have just inspired me even more! Thank you for being YOU!


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