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Dear Target

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Little Miss Momma: Dear Target

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Dear Target

Dear Target,

Forget Disneyland! 

For me, you are the happiest place on Earth.

I can honestly say that visiting you is the one errand I actually look forward to.

The moment I exit my car I am able to easily locate one of your extra large and ultra comfy shopping carts complete with straps that actually wrap around Baby W's tummy--and some of your carts even come equipped with a cup holder for my large diet coke--every Momma's dream come true!

Then, I enter your air conditioned happy place, and I am immediately overcome with the excitement of rummaging through your glorious $1 section. After stocking up on all the $1 items that I surely want need {Frisbee, stickers, lip gloss and a headband}, I notice that you have conveniently placed antibacterial hand and cart wipes for me to wipe the swine flu off my deluxe shopping cart--thank you for being so thoughtful.

I have now worked up an appetite and a thirst from my dollar section rummaging, so before I get-my-shopping-on, I head over to your surprisingly fabulous food court where I order the usual--a large diet coke and yummy breadsticks with marinara sauce.
Mmmm good!

Baby W and I are now ready to hit the aisles and do some damage on our American Express {because you are awesome and accept AMEX}. I head out to stock up on the necessities--diet cherry pepsi, diapers, wipes, baby food, etc {yes, diet cherry pepsi was first on the list}.

I look at Baby W enjoying the last bite of his breadstick and I think to myself, "maybe, just maybe he will let me try on some clothes today". After all, his belly is full and I have been dying to see how that new Converse denim wrap dress looks on.

I decide I would be pushing my luck if I attempted to take him into your dressing room with me, so I pull the momma-with-a-crazy-baby clothes try on method.

Translation: I try on the dress over the clothes I am already wearing.

And you know what Target--you totally get it. Because you have so graciously placed full length mirrors throughout you entire clothes section to spare me the difficulty of schlepping my child and overflowing cart to the changing room; and I love you all the more for this.

So today, I slipped the adorable denim dress over my head and tied it around my waste, all the while admiring its perfect fit in your full length mirror. Meanwhile, Baby W has decided trying on clothes isn't that much fun for him and he is ready to exit the cart--which he begins to attempt.

Unable to escape your very secure cart straps, Baby W goes into full-blown temper tantrum mode, and I mean full blown! Arms are flailing, screams are ringing, drool is flying, legs are going stiff, breath is being held , face is going red, and I am beyond embarrassed.

{photo of another recent tantrum}

You see, today I was "that mom". The Mom I used to see in Target and shake my head because she couldn't get control over her child{ren}. That Mom who loses her cool because she is in the Target tantrum spotlight. That Mom whose voice starts to quiver in anger as she gives some irrational order to her child in an failed attempt to regain control. That Mom you see holding her child two feet off the ground from his armpit. Well, I became "that mom"--and I like to refer to her as Mommy Dearest. And today Mommy Dearest just wanted to try on the new Converse denim wrap dress in peace--was that too much to ask?!

But nooooo, instead Mommy Dearest had to leave the happiest place on Earth prematurely with a kicking and screaming 11 month old tucked under her arm--without ever hitting the fabulous shoe section, the amazing home decor isles and the vortex that is the clearance rack.

So until next time Target...

i love you

Your loyal customer,


p.s. Did I mention that I was stopped at the register because apparently I was still wearing the super cute dress over my clothes. I bought it.

Disclaimer: Target did not pay me or contact me to tell you how fabulous I think they are.  However, Target--you have my number *wink*.



At June 22, 2010 at 8:09 PM , Blogger  Justine said...

Aw, I am sorry to hear that Baby W decided to throw a tantrum right when you were enjoying your dress. Funny how you forgot to take off the dress! Did you end up getting everything else that was already in the cart? BTW, I love the $1 section too! I buy all the stuff I 'need' there too!

At June 22, 2010 at 8:14 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

hahahaha! I have been "that Mama" more times then I'd like to remember! Doing, feeling and acting the same way too! Not something I'm proud of either, but so glad to hear that others have had these moments as well!

And Girl on a happier note, I was SO excited to see that they have Cherry Diet Pepsi in a bottle now! Well, that makes me love Target AND You, Little Momma even more!;)

At June 22, 2010 at 8:17 PM , Anonymous Leanne said...

Oh my gosh Ashley, that is so funny (or not), but at least you bought the cute dress. Don't worry we've all been that mom more than once. Believe it or not, now that I can go to the lovely Target in peace, it's kind of a sad and quiet shopping experience. I usually drag Hubby there after dates (sometimes he throws a tantrum too).

At June 22, 2010 at 8:26 PM , Blogger Kari said...

Target is the best place EVER. Oh my goodness, and I totally know what you mean about the $1 gets me every time! ;)

At June 22, 2010 at 8:52 PM , Blogger Tracy @ Crème de la Gems said...

I am busting up over here!! You are so good at telling a story ;) Thank you for the good laugh, your blog is so much fun to read :)

At June 22, 2010 at 9:05 PM , Blogger Nina @ Momma Go Round said...

99% of LJ's favorite books are from the $1...therefore I don't feel bad when he proceeds to rip the pop-ups right off the page.

As for Mommy Dearest....that was me 3 weeks ago, soda isle. It was a fabulous day.

At June 22, 2010 at 9:12 PM , Blogger Erin Wallace said...

What a beautiful tribute (I've been through the screaming baby shopping experience, too) to my most favorite store on the planet. I love you Target. You really need to come to Marysville. Then maybe I could live in your store.

xo Erin

At June 22, 2010 at 9:17 PM , Anonymous Destri said...

Oh yes, I remember thinking "honestly woman, get it together"
has come back to me ten fold.

My son threw the doosie of all doosies at wal-mart refusing to leave the store until I bought a car, proceeded to lay down in the entry of the door(the electronic one) kicking and screaming, while I tried to "reason" with him. Meanwhile I have my 11 month old on my hip and three grocery bags in my other hand. I finally just walked off and told him if he wanted a ride home he'd best get his fanny to the car. I didn't even turn to look at the horrified looks on peoples faces!

ps. so glad you bought the dress, you deserved it!

At June 22, 2010 at 10:14 PM , Blogger Poyer the Lawyer said...

Remember that the correct pronunciation is "Tar-jay" i.e., the correct French pronunciation. :) Target is a VERY classy place. I also love it. I am like a kid though, I get the cart and ride it around the store. Push it for a bit and then run and jump on it and let it slide. Yes, I am 25, and no, I don't care that everyone stares at me haha. Oh and my snack of choice is a Cherry Icee and soft pretzel!

At June 22, 2010 at 10:44 PM , Blogger Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

Oh, how I love Target. I hate when my kids cut my shopping trip short!
Better luck next time. That dress is super cute!

At June 23, 2010 at 6:23 AM , Blogger M.O.T.B said...

Hysterical but my favorite part is that you still had the dress on!

At June 23, 2010 at 6:37 AM , Blogger Anna K. said...

I'm so happy I've found someone else who has a deep appreciation for the most fantastic dollar section on the face of the Earth.

Baby W and my boyfriend should shop together... BF doesn't full tantrums but he sure does complain a lot when I have to try on something.

Positive: Your dress fit and you liked it enough to wear it out of the store :)

At June 23, 2010 at 7:42 AM , Blogger Brittany@Love Stitched said...

1.) I {heart} Target too

2.) i know all too well about those tantrums of lil w...I recognize the photo u used all too well ;)

At June 23, 2010 at 7:43 AM , Blogger Jennifer said...

OMG....I could not have written a better post myself. Welcome to my world :) Target is the happiest place on earth for me to...and when my little ones 'ruin' it for me, it is like the rides are closed at Disneyland :) I love that you still had the dress on..that is great.

At June 23, 2010 at 11:08 AM , Blogger Lyndsi said...

Oh Ashley, Mommy Dearest, I've been there too and feel for you...I love your stories because you REALLY KNOW HOW TO WRITE!!!!! I wish I had that talent, along with the many others you have ;-)

At June 23, 2010 at 12:20 PM , Blogger ~Mallory~ said...

Oh girl do you know how to write in such an interesting way! I love reading all your blogs! To me it's so crazy, everytime I read your blogs I feel like you are me! Target is by far my fav store and my husbands most unfav store! I love going and getting a Dr.Pepper and the popcorn...and then heading over to the $1 section before the rest of the store! Sometimes I wish I could meet the people of the blogs I like to follow, I know we would get along so well! Hopefully your next Target stop will be a little more successful (but at least you got the dress :))

At June 23, 2010 at 1:07 PM , Anonymous amber said...

Thank you! I know I'm not alone now!

At June 23, 2010 at 5:27 PM , Blogger Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

1. Target is my Mecca and I could shop there every day, but I have two kids and I have also played the "Mommy Dearest" role more than I care to admit
2. Cup holders on the cart? That is beyond cool!
3. Cute wrap dress

At June 23, 2010 at 8:31 PM , Blogger The Preppy Strawberry said...

There is nothing worse than a kid throwing a tantrum in the store! You feel like the whole store is staring at you and judging you! I love reading your posts and this one made me chuckle! Only because I've been there! I loved your PS note about still having the dress on! Hope your next visit to Target is a pleasant visit! ;)

At June 24, 2010 at 5:24 AM , Anonymous Rachel said...

Thanks for the LOL this morning!!! :)

At June 24, 2010 at 7:43 AM , Blogger @JessEsco said...

LOL! That is hilarious about the dress.

At June 25, 2010 at 7:34 AM , Blogger Michelle K. said...

Funny, I was just thinking about going to Target today. Don't worry. Kieren is already in that terrible two stage and throws about 3-4 temper tantrums a day. To keep her from doing it in Target, I quickly give her something to hold; a toy, something from the $1 aisle. The newness of it keeps her occupied. And by the end of my shopping trip she is already bored with the toy, so I don't have to buy it if I don't want to! Nice! Good luck with little W. He is such a cute kid!

At June 25, 2010 at 6:58 PM , Blogger Jessica the Jacked LDS said...

so the dress? should i go try it out? it looks super cute!!!

At June 28, 2010 at 3:55 AM , Blogger Asashia said...

Target is the. best. place. ever. How many times have I thought "I need to go to Target" not really having to go at all! Good to know I'm not the only one having a love affair with them!

At June 29, 2010 at 7:05 AM , Blogger dee said...

I've decided that Target is heaven for moms with small children. Every time I'm there, I see at least ten other moms walking around aimlessly, tossing things they don't need into the backs of their strollers!

At February 3, 2011 at 7:07 PM , Blogger Jennie said...

Do I work at Target? Why yes, I do. Do I LOVE it there? Ummm, yep!! Seriously it is suuuuch an awesome job for a starving student such as I. So if you're ever meandering around the Tarjayy in Folsom, Cali, I'll be in the clothes section folding shirts. ;)


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