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The Scoop on Baby's W's Sleep Issues {in case you wanted to know}

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Little Miss Momma: The Scoop on Baby's W's Sleep Issues {in case you wanted to know}

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Scoop on Baby's W's Sleep Issues {in case you wanted to know}

What's your biggest fear?

Mine...

FAILURE.

And there's nothing quite like parenthood to provide a Momma with the unending and overwhelming fear that "I'm failing this particular momma-test".

Just the other day Baby W had his 15 month check up. If you read this post then you know that I agonize over each of these appointments. Not because I fear that my baby is sick {I am blessed that he is so healthy}, but because I fear that my doctor will ever so kindly inform me that I am--pardon my French--screwing my child up.

Kind of like the time the pediatrician told me that I have a "difficult baby" and I translated that to mean that I have no control over my child and it's all my fault that he can't sit still and self-entertain with a toy like his toddler friends--surely I did something to cause his hyperness, right?!



And while I think Baby W's doctor is top notch {one in a million, even}, he certainly is black and white in his approach to raising a child. For example, even before Baby W was born, he told us "NEVER bring the baby in bed with you, NEVER EVER".

Of course not, pre-baby Ashley and Hubby would never think of doing something so "not-by-the-book".

But then Baby W was born, and our "by the book" plan changed--drastically, might I add.


It wasn't more than two months after our little guy was born that this tiny, warm, little bundle of happiness was curled up in a little ball in between Momma and Daddy every night. We couldn't resist his new baby smell, not to mention everything just seemed easier with him right next to us {feeding, changing, etc.}.

Flash forward a few months...

Baby W: still adorable {he even still has the new baby smell}...

And a sleep deprived Mommy and Daddy are haunted by our doctor's infamous words: "Never bring the baby in bed with you"


Our little bundle transformed into a thrashing, kicking and head bonking sleeping baby--and after one too many kicks in the face, this Momma and Daddy were ready to put the babe back in his crib.


The first few weeks were rough--so rough in fact that the hubby had to go on a long drive every time I put Baby W down for bed--he couldn't handle the sound of Baby W's piercing cries.


Eventually we got Baby W to sleep in his own crib--for a little bit anyway. Every hour and a half without fail Baby W was awake--and screaming at the top of his lungs. It wasn't long before he had learned how to climb out of the crib and crash down onto the floor sending us into a panicked tail spin.

We even went so far as to install one of those tents on top of his crib--which he dismantled immediately.

We were tired and defeated.

I started hiding in his room so I could figure out how he was getting out of his crib. And that's when I discovered the truth to how Baby W was waking up in the middle of the night...

Baby W is a big-time snorer--has been since day one. So when I sat, hiding in the corner of his dark room listening to his snores as I waited patiently for him to wake up...I noticed silence.

As in no sound whatsoever...

No snoring.

No breathing.

And then, about 10 seconds later a loud GASP for breath.

Followed by a disoriented Baby W standing up in his crib with his eyes still closed as his stumbled around, eventually crashing face first into the side of the crib.


I sprinted from my hiding place in the corner and scooped up my sobbing and bruised baby.


As you can guess, he was back in our bed for the next month--where we monitored his every movement and breath. We began to notice a pattern that explained Baby W's frequent awakenings throughout the middle of the night. Loud snoring, silence, stop breathing, gasp for breath, disoriented thrashing, crying, and then back to sleep. Over and over and over again.

And since I pretty much have a doctorate in googling--I headed over to my favorite search engine to find some answers; and this is what I found:



And when we took Baby W to see his doctor the next day our suspicions were confirmed. Baby W's tonsils and adenoids are just too large for that little breathing hole of his--resulting in a terrible night's sleep {for baby and mommy/daddy}.

And you want to know how I felt?

Sad? Sure, a little. The extent to Baby W's sleep disorder is by no means life threatening, so there is little to worry about, so long as we monitor his sleeping conditions.

What I mostly felt--RELIEF.

Baby W's diagnosis helped relieve my biggest fear. I was NOT failing my son. I had not caused his horrible sleeping habits. This was not my fault. And this is not something I can control.



I came home that day with a new energy to combat his middle of the night "freak out sessions", with more energy to wake up for the day at 5:45 am every morning, and with a new perspective on how much we beat ourselves up as Momma's.

We're not perfect, but I promise you, we're better than we think we are.
__________________________________________

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26 Comments:

At October 24, 2010 at 10:14 PM , Blogger Nina @ Momma Go Round said...

You are fabulous and Baby W is so lucky to have you for his momma. Not all momma's would care so much that they sacrifice a full night's sleep for so long just to make sure their baby was ok. You are awesome, and we love you!

 
At October 24, 2010 at 10:41 PM , Blogger Kendall said...

I completely agree with the comment above mine :)

 
At October 24, 2010 at 11:04 PM , Blogger Delia said...

You are a great mom for getting down to the real root of the problem. That is fortunate that you were able to get him diagnosed so you can help him! You are a wonderful momma. :)

 
At October 25, 2010 at 4:31 AM , Blogger Courtney said...

My little brother had the same thing when he was about 6 or 7ish. My mom actually filmed him sleeping so she could show the doctor how he stopped breathing/snoring and would gasp for air. Once his tonsils/adenoids were removed he was fine. Well, the obnoxiously loud snoring is still there but no gasping.

 
At October 25, 2010 at 4:53 AM , Blogger Shelley said...

What an amazing woman you are & what a blessed little boy to have you as his momma :) I hate that feeling of failure that creeps up on us as mommies. I'm currently feeling like a cruddy mom because my daughter won't eat at mealtime, throws food off her tray, and then crys in between meals because she's hungry :( Argh, stupid mealtime!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 5:38 AM , Blogger daniiiā™„ said...

I don't think you did anything wrong. I'm in a similar position as, though.

We co-slept for the first 7 months (which I loved, by the way. They say co-sleeping helps promote independence later on in life). Then we switched M to her own crib. It took a week for her to adjust, but she was fine. Now all of a sudden (after a few months of sleeping in her own toddler bed), she wanders into our room at around 3:30AM every morning and crawls between us to sleep. Of course, she kicks us and head bangs us with all her might before she gets comfortable. And heaven forbid we don't comfort her. Maybe I'll try stalking her at 3:00AM to see why she wakes up.

Thanks for the idea!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 6:41 AM , Blogger Bobbie Mackey said...

it is so hard to have confidence in mothering at times. my son had heart surgery one week after his 1st bday. (all good now...energetic, active, smart 6year old) one year after that we discovered he had adult sized tonsils, needed tubes in both ears, and had his adnoids out. this hit me harder than the year before, because i thought little man had been through enough. he came through everything great. W will be a little trooper! especially with the parents he was blessed with.

 
At October 25, 2010 at 7:26 AM , Blogger Suzi Q said...

I am a jerk Mom. I am such a tight ace about things like that. But slowly over time I am getting more relaxed. When our son is sick he sleeps with us and I don't mind, but since I am such a nazi he doesn't mind his own crib either. HOW SAD THOUGH. I am noticing my 2 month old does that a lot, random gasps for air...hmmm..but he sleeps well so no worries I guess right! Good luck lady!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 8:06 AM , Blogger The Oxford Family said...

He is so cute!! Glad to hear it sounds like a solution is on the way! I personally am all for cosleeping until it turns into what you describe! Sawyer sleeps horribly in our bed as well. tosses, turns, headbutts :) Good times! Hope things get better!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 8:16 AM , Blogger Amanda Joy said...

Those evil little adenoids! Asher had surgery to have his removed last August, before he turned two. His adenoids kept making him sick, and he kept having ear infections. As soon as those swollen puppies were out, he stopped snoring so much, and gained three pounds in one month, finally making it on the charts. The poor kid couldn't taste any food, so he never wanted to eat.

 
At October 25, 2010 at 9:05 AM , Blogger sara said...

We are incredibly hard on ourselves as mamas, but you are doing an awesome job! And baby W is the cutest!!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 10:30 AM , Blogger Justine said...

I thought it was a little funny to read how you hid in his room while he was sleeping. But I am So glad you found out why he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Just Better Together

 
At October 25, 2010 at 11:23 AM , Anonymous Aurora said...

My son and I have battled through, what I like to call "Adventures in Asthma-Land" so I know how you feel. He too has been in bed with us for most of his life, and then when the asthma began oh man. I was watching himn like a hawk every second of every night.
The main reason for my comment, though, is that I know that guilt you felt. I STILL feel like it's all my fault, eventhough I have a medical diagnosis and a reason for his poor little suffering. Then again, if moms didn't care about their little ones and take on it themselves to mae them better, we wouldn't be so far along as a species.
Moms really are quite amazing, and you are no exception!
Keep it up! Your son is very lucky!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 11:41 AM , Blogger Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

You're a great mom! I'm glad you found out what was waking him at night.
I never planned on bringing my firstborn into bed with us, either, but it happened. And honestly? I treasured those days, and I think he's a happy, loving, secure boy because of it. He's 5 now, and has been sleeping happily in his own room since he was 2 1/2!

 
At October 25, 2010 at 12:33 PM , Blogger Ashley said...

giiiiirl! Let me just tell you how much I an relate to this post! In fact, I just posted a blog about this the other day. I am a fan of co-sleeping (I admit) Babies need to be close to their mommy! They were for 9 months before being born. But, I do have the worst sleeper EVER. My boy is 9 months and I am still up nursing him every 2 hours (if I'm lucky, that long) I just don't have the heart to make him cry it out in the crib. Some babies are great sleepers and some aren't. That's just the way it goes! You are an awesome momma, I am sure! You sleep with that baby all you want!! :) They grow up too fast.

 
At October 25, 2010 at 2:25 PM , Blogger Brandy@YDK said...

I'm so glad that you found an answer - that is so terrifying! I can not imagine - what the poor little guy thought.

G still sleeps with us and that's um...just because.

 
At October 26, 2010 at 7:46 AM , Blogger rmwatts said...

My 2 1/2 year old is still in our bed :( It takes time, I say do what is best for you and your family. My other daughter also had a hard time sleeping and we found out she had enlarged tonsiles and adnoides. Once we had them removed hello good nights sleep! I would highly recommend finding a good ear, nose and throat specialist to talk to about surgery. Best of luck to you!!

 
At October 26, 2010 at 8:43 AM , Blogger M.O.T.B said...

Oh wow! What an amazing realization! I think as parents we do what we have to do to stay sane and try to do what is best for our children. People will judge and offer suggestions and solutions but only you know what you can do. My three year old sleeps in his bed MOST of the time, my 20 month old part of the night and you know what I slept either in my parents bed or on their floor for years and I turned out OK. I pick my battles and I am okay with it.

 
At October 26, 2010 at 12:55 PM , Blogger Life in Rehab said...

My babies always slept with me, and they left when they were ready themselves at around 2. And do you know what? With three children, we never had a nightmare, a sleepless night, or even ONE child crawl back in bed with us.

You parent from your heart. Listen to advice, and then do what's right for you.

And you are an adorable, sweet Mommy to that precious boy.

 
At October 27, 2010 at 5:56 AM , Blogger It's a Wannabe Decorator's Life said...

Love your etsy shop!! So glad I found you over at Tator tots and jello!

 
At October 27, 2010 at 6:02 AM , Anonymous heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

Wow, what an ordeal!

Our 2nd born has been quite the tiny tot to take as well.

You're a good mama! Good for you for being a super sleep seluth to see what was 'really' going on with your little man.

Popp'n over from Tator Tot's and jello - your creations are just darling!

Have a blessed day

 
At October 27, 2010 at 6:47 AM , Blogger Jen said...

Found your blog thru Tatortots & Jello..can't wait to look around and also check out your etsy shop!

 
At October 27, 2010 at 7:33 AM , Blogger lynneandco said...

Thanks to Tatertots and Jello I found your blog and shop. Love both! And also giggled at the video of the boys on their bike trailer ride!

 
At October 27, 2010 at 3:05 PM , Blogger Taylor-Ann said...

That viedo it too funny. I needed a good laugh this afternoon.

~ taylor

 
At October 27, 2010 at 8:00 PM , Blogger Lyndsi said...

awwww....what's the next step now?

 
At November 16, 2010 at 11:57 PM , Blogger The Miller Family said...

It's official... I am in love... with your blog! Maybe even a little obsessed. It was a little overwhelming at first... BUT totally not your blogs fault. I JUST began exploring the blogging world TODAY. Ha. This post about your baby tugged on my heart! Probably because I've experienced similar dilemmas. Glad I found your blog. :o) It's really great. And I very much appreciate all that it offers.

 

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