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SECRET SERIES WEEK {your secrets revealed}

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Little Miss Momma: SECRET SERIES WEEK {your secrets revealed}

Sunday, November 28, 2010

SECRET SERIES WEEK {your secrets revealed}

Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I felt as your secrets began pouring into my inbox.

I was touched.





But most of all, I was in AWE.

In awe at the courage each of you showed, to come forward, to open up, to remind the rest of us that WE ARE NOT ALONE!

And so begins our SECRET SERIES.

And now I present to you our very first
{please show your support in the comments section}

Jolene's Secret:
I feel incredible guilt over my dad's death in July.
He had knee surgery the day before and I picked him up from the hospital and took him home.
I thought of visiting the next day,
but then I decided it was too much of a PITA (they lived 35 minutes from me)
and I decided to skip a day.
He died of a heart attack the day I decided not to visit.
My mom was totally useless and stood there calling me instead of calling 911.
He was gone by the time the paramedics arrived.
I know CPR and think I may have been able to save my dad's life.
I will never get over this.
I carry this guilt daily,
and think it is my fault that he is gone.
- Jolene

Cailey's Secret:
In high school, I was a cutter.
I would cut myself.
Because I am so ashamed to let people see my scarred arms,
I haven't been able to wear short sleeves in six years.
Not even during the summer.
I wonder on a regular basis how this will affect my future.
What will the people I care about think when they find out?
Will anyone ever be able to fall in love with me?
How would they ever introduce me to their family without feeling ashamed?
Will I be able to walk down the aisle on my wedding day and feel beautiful...?
What will my future children think of their Momma?
Will I always be ashamed?

I will be posting several secrets daily throughout this entire week. So be sure to check back often, you're not going to want to miss these.

You can grab your very own Secret Series Button on the right sidebar---->
Simply copy the code, then got to "add a gadget" in your blogger dashboard, then add "html", then paste the code, then click "save" {thats it}!

 On Friday, we will conclude this portion of the Secret Series with a link up party--where I will encourage YOU to link up a post with your secret {no matter how big or small--serious or silly}.

Do you have a secret you want to email me?
Send it to
And please let me know your "alias" or if I can use your real name.



At November 28, 2010 at 6:11 PM , Blogger Caitlin said...

I love this series. I feel like we all just coexist with each other but in reality, we don't really "know" each other. We all have deep dark secrets. This is good, it will help us realize we are not alone, and to think before we judge people. Thanks so much for doing this. You are a wonderful person.

At November 28, 2010 at 6:53 PM , Blogger ashley @ little miss momma said...

Dear Cailey,

You WILL find true LOVE, and when you do they will love every part of you {even your insecurities}--thats how you know its true love!

Thanks for your courage in sharing your secret!


Dear Jolene,

I bet you are one AMAZING daughter and your dad was so blessed to have you!

Your story was so touching and you have my admiration for sharing it.


At November 28, 2010 at 7:39 PM , Blogger iammommahearmeroar said...

Hey Ashley,

I just wanted to drop a quick note to say that I am amazed and so drawn to what you are doing here. First of all, I am inspired by your honesty. It is beautiful and so are you. Reading this series makes me wish it wasn't a cyber thing so I could actually talk to everyone about it and hug them. That's sounds cheesy, but I mean it.

Jolene, Please don't let one moment measure the lifetime you had with your dad. He wouldn't want you to feel bad and I'm sure you are an incredible daughter. You are so brave to admit these feelings but I know you can overcome them as well.

Cailey, You will find someone who loves you because of what you've been through - not in spite of what you've done. I had a good friend who struggled with and finally overcame the same thing. I don't think of her as less or as weak. I admire her strength and depth.

Thanks for doing this series Ashley.


At November 28, 2010 at 7:39 PM , Blogger Jessie K said...

Dear Jolene,
It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. Everyone is going to die someday and when that day comes, there is nothing, NOTHING, you or anyone else can do. A classmate of mine committed suicide when I was in 7th grade. He even talked about it at school the day before. Maybe I could have stopped it if I hadn't been thinking like a 13 yr old girl. There's a lot of 'what if's' to life. Don't let them rule you.

Dear Cailey,
Why would anyone be ashamed of you? You are beautiful. You are strong. You are unique. Why WOULDN'T anyone want to fall in love with you? You have so much to offer. If you believe that, others will, too.

At November 28, 2010 at 8:42 PM , Blogger Nichelle @ Vintage Wanna Bee said...

Dear Jolene,

It is not your fault. I can't imagine what you are going through, but even those of us who don't know you personally feel for you and love and support you. Your father was lucky to have you as a daughter, and he is watching over you now. Don't focus on what you feel you didn't do, focus on what you DID DO for your father. And what you CAN DO now to honor his life. He wants you to be happy. You'll be in my prayers.


Dear Cailey,
What strength you have. Look at how much you have overcome. I look up to you so much, we all have "scars" but you have to deal with physical scars everyday. Keep moving forward. Keep going, it will be okay. YOU WILL FIND LOVE. You WILL find someone worthy of your strength, character and love. We all have pasts, but do not be ashamed. They help evolve us. You WILL overcome this. Don't feel ashamed, your story inspires and uplifts. LOVE IS THERE. Keep going.


At November 28, 2010 at 10:26 PM , Blogger Delia said...


I already think you are tremendous and you never fail to impress me in the right way.


What a burden to carry. I can see how you might feel. I wish I had words to comfort you but all can think is that you must forgive yourself. Logically...there are no guarantees that things would have ended differently. Emotionally...your dad would want to you forgive yourself and be happy in honor of him and his love for you which continues on even now.


I used to think that I was the only one with problems. The only one who felt emotionally broken at certain times in my life. That is very much not so. You will be loved and the person who will love you will be lucky to have you. The key is to heal first so that you attract that person. That right person. Be strong, be steady, take care of yourself, be true to yourself and be honest. Be thankful and be full of love. If you are those things you will be in the right place to meet the right person. The past won't matter so much as who you really are and where you are going. And your children...they will revere you as one who has a wealth of experience and understanding that can help them when they are in need of help. Those scars, if you let them, can become symbols of strength that will remind you of how far you have come.

I hope what I have said doesn't seem insensitive. Of course my remarks are based on what I have read. In any case. My heart goes out to both of you. You are such brave, beautiful individuals.

At November 29, 2010 at 6:10 AM , Blogger Briann said...


Your strength is overwhelming. Your father was lucky to have you as a daughter.

I lost my father suddenly on his 51st birthday to a heart attack. I was holding his hand the minute he went unconscious and I performed CPR. I feel the same guilt you feel with not being able to help him. Your father will always be in your heart and I'm positive he was grateful for the daughter you were to him.

Big hugs to you & thank you for sharing with us.

At November 29, 2010 at 6:14 AM , Blogger Shay said...

i don't have time to leave the comment i'd like to, but i had to say something.

this is so very inspiring and touching.

this blog has always been one of my favorites, but now it's what i consider my number #1 favorite. what you are doing is pretty awesome and as a person who also has secrets, i know how hard it can be to keep one. doing this can help all of us feel like a huge burden has been lifted.

thanks for being such an amazing blogger!

and thank you ladies for being brave and opening up!

sorry if there are lots of typos. i'm typing with my one year old blocking the screen with his massive head =)

At November 29, 2010 at 11:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh how I LOVE this series! I'm excited to give my 2 cents to people who need it. I LOVE helping people. Can't wait to read them all!

Don't be so hard on yourself. The way I look at it, things happen the way they were meant to happen. So if your father passed when you weren't there, then it was meant to be that way. Don't blame yourself. I don't know you or anything, but you are strong. Your father loved you and loved everything you have ever done for him. He is looking down on you and he is proud of you. I hope that all the kind words that will be spoken in these comments will comfort you in knowing that your father loved you and he still does. :)

Girl I totally feel for you. But let me just tell you that the person who falls in love with you {believe me, it will happen, I can promise that} will love you unconditionally. No matter what scars you have. True love does not care about looks. True love burns deep within your hearts where physical features are insignificant. If someone can't see past the physical attributes, then they DO NOT deserve your love. Think of yourself, and your love as a prize, if they can't love you as a whole, they don't deserve the prize. About 2 years ago my husband and I got into a really bad argument, and I threw a can of hairspray at my mirror and shattered it. (I have signs that point to bipolar, and I am manic depressive, so when placed in heated situations, I tend to be a little psycho) He said, "If you don't stop, I will leave" I freaked out and grabbed a piece of the broken glass and cut my wrist. To me, it was him saying that he was leaving no doubt. I tend to pick out the bad things that people say and totally bypass everything else. Anyway long story short, I now have a giant scar with 13 stitch marks, that everyone stares at. But my husband loves me no matter how "psycho" I am. You will find true love girl, I know you will. You are very courageous for putting your secret out there. I admire you for that. The only person that knew about this till this day was my husband and myself. I lied in the ER telling them that I dropped a mirror. Which they clearly did not believe. But Cailey honey, hang in there. You are a beautiful person, and you will find someone that will love you unconditionally. :)

At November 29, 2010 at 10:29 PM , Blogger Lisa Johnson said...

My husband was a cutter/burner. He hasn't done it for years, and I think it was partially done because of me, (though I didn't know that until much later). We had a rocky long distance relationship for a while, very hard on both of us. Anyway. Seeing those scars on his arms only solidifies that we have made it through the worst together and that we will make it through the best together. They make me love him more. To know that he has come SO far and is such a great man. Someday you will realize that you are also a great person. That's what really matters. Someday those scars will remind you of how strong you are. To have walked that dark road and come out on the other side, a better person. I hope that day is sooner rather than later for you, but it will come in time. And so will love. And when you find Mr. Right, he will also see how strong you are and he will admire and love you for it, and so will your future children. I promise. Best wishes!

At November 30, 2010 at 3:35 PM , Blogger Michelle @ Dibble Dabble Life said...

Jolene, I have the same guilt concerning my grandfather's death. I was in college, single mother of 2 and had a vacation planned to Isla Mujeres, Mexico. I made excuse after excuse about how busy I was to not see my grandfather before I left. I had every intention of going the day I got back in town. An hour after arriving home at the airport my mother called to tell me he had passed. It has been 6 years and I still feel guilty.

At December 22, 2010 at 3:21 PM , Blogger Kaylee said...

Your story made me cry... not only do we share the same name, we share the same secret. I also started cutting in high school. It's been 6 or 7 years since I have cut, but that doesn't make it any easier. My scars aren't as bad as yours, but emotionally, it's still there. My entire family has acted as if nothing has happened since they found out. No one talks about it, which is ok with me. I don't talk about it. My best friend, that I've known for 3 years, doesn't know. I was blessed though, with my wonderful husband, who is the one person I can talk to about it. You will find someone who loves you unconditionally; who loves you because of this, not in spite of it, because otherwise, you wouldn't be the person you are today, the person that they are madly in love with. That person who tells you you're beautiful everyday, even in sweat pants. The person that looks at your scars and tells you that they're sorry they weren't there for you then, so you wouldn't have felt like cutting was the only option, even though you didn't even know them at the time. As far as the kids go, I don't know what they'll think, but when they get older, they'll know how strong you were to be able to overcome it. Hopefully, in the future, neither one of us will be ashamed, but just feel blessed and embrace who we are and where we've been.
Love and prayers,



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