Looking Back and Remembering When

Looking Back and Remembering When

While out shopping a few weeks ago I stumbled across this frame with the most beautiful quote written on it {and YES, it made me cry--in public}. 

It reads:

Before you were conceived, I wanted you.

Before you were born, I loved you.

Before you were here for an hour, I would die for you.

This is the miracle of love.

This beautiful quote inspired me to write a letter to my little man:

Dear Baby W,

You are officially 9 months going on 9 years old this month. You have substituted your fascination with sucking on your own toes for an obsession with sharp objects, hard surfaces, electric cords and big people food. It seems as if crawling has opened up a whole new world of possibilities and you plan to discover them all.

Your energy completely exhausts me--but I wouldn't have it any other way. I only hope that you tackle all of life's future obstacles the way you work so hard to escape the pillow barricade I often build around you.

And as I look back over these last 9 months I realize how truly fast this whole parenting business goes {too fast if you ask me}. ..which is why I have taken today to look back and remember when...

I remember the flurry of butterflies in my tummy when the pregnancy test read "positive" and I knew our lives were changed forever.

I remember thinking I couldn't take another day of being sick in bed...and then I would feel you kick inside my tummy and I would be reminded that this whole morning-noon-and-night sickness was worth it after all.

I remember the day you were born and my heart melted when I saw you had your daddy's dimples...and then I realized just how much I loved you and I worried that I could never possibly love another baby this much {but I will, I promise future babies}.

I remember panicking the entire drive home from the hospital as your tiny body barely fit into your what-seemed-massive car seat--worried that every little jostle the car made would surely give you brain damage.

I remember when you pooped on the examination table at your first pediatricians visit {I thought it was much cuter than your doc thought it was}.

I remember falling asleep cuddled together during those all-too-frequent middle of the night feedings.

I remember the bittersweet day of boxing up all your newborn clothes because you were too big for them {sometimes I sneak open that box and go through your teeny clothes and remember just how little you once were}.

I remember the first time you smiled just for me and when you learned to wrap your itty bitty little fingers around mine--and you haven't stopped smiling since.

I remember when I could set you on the bed and then walk away (and sometimes even leave the room to pick out your outfit) and be sure you would be in the exact spot where I left you {now you dash from one spot to the next in the blink of an eye}.

I remember the first time you had baby food and you ate the entire jar...then I had to hold you in my arms all night as you cried from a tummy ache {I had no idea you weren't supposed to have the full jar on your first experience, and I felt like a terrible mommy}.

I remember when I was able to change your diaper with ease as you smiled up at me from your changing table. Now I feel like a professional wrestler pinning you down as I struggle to close the flaps.

I remember the look of excitement on your face when you successfully picked up your first puff and put it in your mouth without my help {You were so proud of yourself but I was prouder--and I always will be}.

I remember your explosion of personality, curiosity and energy once you learned to crawl.

I remember wanting to trade places with you for every shot, vaccination, new tooth, tummy ache, bruise, scrape, fever, runny nose and cough.

I remember the first time you reached for me to make "everything all better".

I remember the first time you said momma {and I pretended like you knew what it meant}.

I remember the first time you grabbed my face a laid a giant, slobbery, open mouthed kiss on my lips.

And even when you become a big boy I will always remember your baby fingers, your pudgy toes, your contagious smile, your button nose, your bald head, your bubble belly button, your skinny little legs, your pot belly, your dimpled bum cheeks and your infectious laugh--I remember and cherish all of these tiny details and precious moments, each and every day.

And I can tell you that there is no one in the world I would rather be than your mommy.