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Looking Back and Remembering When

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Little Miss Momma: Looking Back and Remembering When

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Looking Back and Remembering When

Looking Back and Remembering When

While out shopping a few weeks ago I stumbled across this frame with the most beautiful quote written on it {and YES, it made me cry--in public}. 

It reads:

Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you.
Before you were here for an hour, I would die for you.
This is the miracle of love.

This beautiful quote inspired me to write a letter to my little man:

Dear Baby W,
You are officially 9 months going on 9 years old this month. You have substituted your fascination with sucking on your own toes for an obsession with sharp objects, hard surfaces, electric cords and big people food. It seems as if crawling has opened up a whole new world of possibilities and you plan to discover them all.

Your energy completely exhausts me--but I wouldn't have it any other way. I only hope that you tackle all of life's future obstacles the way you work so hard to escape the pillow barricade I often build around you.

And as I look back over these last 9 months I realize how truly fast this whole parenting business goes {too fast if you ask me}. ..which is why I have taken today to look back and remember when...

I remember the flurry of butterflies in my tummy when the pregnancy test read "positive" and I knew our lives were changed forever.

I remember thinking I couldn't take another day of being sick in bed...and then I would feel you kick inside my tummy and I would be reminded that this whole morning-noon-and-night sickness was worth it after all.
I remember the day you were born and my heart melted when I saw you had your daddy's dimples...and then I realized just how much I loved you and I worried that I could never possibly love another baby this much {but I will, I promise future babies}.

I remember panicking the entire drive home from the hospital as your tiny body barely fit into your what-seemed-massive car seat--worried that every little jostle the car made would surely give you brain damage.

I remember when you pooped on the examination table at your first pediatricians visit {I thought it was much cuter than your doc thought it was}.
I remember falling asleep cuddled together during those all-too-frequent middle of the night feedings.

I remember the bittersweet day of boxing up all your newborn clothes because you were too big for them {sometimes I sneak open that box and go through your teeny clothes and remember just how little you once were}.

I remember the first time you smiled just for me and when you learned to wrap your itty bitty little fingers around mine--and you haven't stopped smiling since.
I remember when I could set you on the bed and then walk away (and sometimes even leave the room to pick out your outfit) and be sure you would be in the exact spot where I left you {now you dash from one spot to the next in the blink of an eye}.

I remember the first time you had baby food and you ate the entire jar...then I had to hold you in my arms all night as you cried from a tummy ache {I had no idea you weren't supposed to have the full jar on your first experience, and I felt like a terrible mommy}.

I remember when I was able to change your diaper with ease as you smiled up at me from your changing table. Now I feel like a professional wrestler pinning you down as I struggle to close the flaps.

I remember the look of excitement on your face when you successfully picked up your first puff and put it in your mouth without my help {You were so proud of yourself but I was prouder--and I always will be}.

I remember your explosion of personality, curiosity and energy once you learned to crawl.
I remember wanting to trade places with you for every shot, vaccination, new tooth, tummy ache, bruise, scrape, fever, runny nose and cough.

I remember the first time you reached for me to make "everything all better".

I remember the first time you said momma {and I pretended like you knew what it meant}.

I remember the first time you grabbed my face a laid a giant, slobbery, open mouthed kiss on my lips.

And even when you become a big boy I will always remember your baby fingers, your pudgy toes, your contagious smile, your button nose, your bald head, your bubble belly button, your skinny little legs, your pot belly, your dimpled bum cheeks and your infectious laugh--I remember and cherish all of these tiny details and precious moments, each and every day.

And I can tell you that there is no one in the world I would rather be than your mommy.

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At April 21, 2010 at 7:06 PM , Blogger Brittany@Love Stitched said...

I totally teared up!! I miss my little wes man!!!

At April 21, 2010 at 7:18 PM , Blogger @JessEsco said...

That is the sweetest, truest, most heartfelt letter. Thank you for sharing it. I really need to start this.

At April 22, 2010 at 6:21 AM , Blogger Michele {The Scrap Shoppe} said...

So sweet!! You have an adorable little boy. I feel exactly the same way about mine!

At April 22, 2010 at 7:45 AM , Blogger Caitlin said...

This is so sweet. It actually makes me look forward to being a mom someday. :)

At April 22, 2010 at 8:41 AM , Blogger Kellene Maynard said...

I love looking back like this with my daughter as well. Such precious times! I love that frame you found!! Stopping by from SITS!

At April 22, 2010 at 8:46 AM , Blogger Mrs. Mootz said...

This is a beautiful post! My little man is 16 months and all the "firsts" you listed made me think of his "firsts."

Stopping by from SITS to say hi!

At April 22, 2010 at 9:07 AM , Blogger Natalie said...

Ashley, this is such a sweet post! It made me tear up! Thanks so much for sharing!

At April 22, 2010 at 8:50 PM , Blogger Brittany@Love Stitched said...

LOVE THE NEW BLOG DESIGN!!! so fun! I am so glad you used Shay...I love my blog she designed and now I LOVE yours!! too cute!

At April 22, 2010 at 9:39 PM , Anonymous Heather said...

Oh man...this definitely brought tears to my eyes. You're a great mom. You little guy is lucky to have you.

At May 10, 2010 at 12:45 PM , Blogger Adventures in Abelingland said...

I am tearing up just reading this. I was searching for the Frame you wrote about in your blog and came across your site!! I can't believe how we tend to write about similar things!! i have been writing letters to my boys for almost a year now in my blog. Today is my little man's second birthday and you captured my emotions to a tee! I may have to "share" your words if you do not mind!! I just love reading your blog. xo

At May 10, 2010 at 12:46 PM , Blogger Adventures in Abelingland said...

Oh and we both had shay do our blogs!

At May 22, 2010 at 3:42 PM , Blogger Vicki C said...

I am glad to see I am not the only one who writes to my child LOL. She is 4 and I still write to her. One day she can look back and I hope enjoy.

At November 1, 2010 at 4:33 AM , Blogger Kasandra said...

I'm sweet. I love your blog :)

At December 23, 2010 at 7:27 AM , Blogger Maria-Isabel @ Agape Love Designs said...

Ok thats fair, you cried in the store.. so you had to make everyone else cry too! :) I totally started to cry, and get that lump in my throat! Perfect and beautiful post! :) Made me re-live all those moments of my 3 little ones, again. Thank you. :)


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